


Nope! He didn't

by FlamingLeaf



Series: I am not believing it [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Big Brother Uchiha Itachi, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Team Fluff, Teamwork™, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingLeaf/pseuds/FlamingLeaf
Summary: “My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to save my kidnapped brother.”In which Team Seven strives to reunite Sasuke with his allegedly kidnapped brother, Kakashi has to deal with delusional genin and Pain needs a bottle of aspirin.Itachi would really prefer Kisame to stop enabling his brother.
Series: I am not believing it [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197059
Comments: 22
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another One-shot. I felt rather stressed today and needed something funny to relax. :D
> 
> Again: Nonsense and silliness.  
> I wrote it down without thinking much ;-)

## Nope! He didn't

"My name is **Uchiha Sasuke**. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to save my kidnapped brother."

Kakashi blinked.

He was going to do _what_?

Save Uchiha Itachi?

His _kidnapped_ brother?

What in kami's name was happening here?

"You want to… _save_ your brother?" Kakashi repeated, just to make sure that he had heard it right.

"Yes," Sasuke answered vehemently, his eyes taking a determined glint. "Someone took him from me – and I will get him back."

"Someone kidnapped your brother?!" Naruto jumped up and stared at him. "Who? _Why_?!"

"I don't know," Sasuke answered grimly. "All I know is that they murdered my family, framed my brother for it, and now he is gone. I think they took him to keep him quiet."

"That's terrible!" Sakura whispered, her eyes wide in horror.

"That's-" Kakashi began.

"- totally cruel! You're right, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled loudly, looking furious on Sasuke's behalf.

That was not what Kakashi had been trying to say. "It's not-," he tried for the second time, only to get interrupted again.

"Don't worry, teme," Naruto declared resolutely. "We will help you get him back. Right, Sakura-chan?"

"He isn't – "Kakashi got ignored again.

The girl nodded. "Of course."

For a moment, Sasuke simply stared at them before his lips turned into a tiny smile. "Thank you."

Kakashi sighed.

Great.

Just great.

Now he had three delusional genin to deal with.

* * *

"Have you seen my older brother? He looks like me, just a bit older."

Kakashi groaned as Sasuke stopped for the twentieth time to ask a random civilian for his brother's whereabouts.

He could not let things continue like this. They would never get their missions done if Sasuke stopped every five steps to inquire after his brother.

It did not help that neither Naruto nor Sakura seemed to mind it at all.

Quite the contrary.

They spent a lot of time pointing out people Sasuke had not asked yet, even going as far as doing the asking themselves when the Uchiha was occupied with interrogating someone else.

So far, Kakashi was the only one not taking part in the Uchiha Itachi investigation–and apparently the only one still caring about the actual mission.

Things really could not be worse.

* * *

He was wrong.

Because somehow his cute, delusional genin had gotten their little hands on a Bingo book.

Three pairs of solemn eyes met his the moment he entered the training ground. There was so much grim determination in their faces that he did not even get to make his customary excuse.

"It's even more serious than we thought," Sakura informed him in a grave voice.

"He's in the Bingo book, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto told him quietly. "The Bingo book!"

"Whoever added him there must have lots of resources." Sasuke mused, his lips set in a tight line.

His teammates nodded wordlessly.

"It seems there are more people involved than we thought," Sakura added thoughtfully. "Powerful people."

The three genin exchanged dark looks.

"Then we will be even more powerful!" Naruto declared loudly, punching his fist into the air. "We will be the strongest team ever, dattebayo! And we'll get your brother back!"

His teammates agreed enthusiastically.

Kakashi sighed deeply.

Great. Now they were even more determined than before.

Oh, well. At least they had the teamwork down.

* * *

"You _don't_ want to take the exams?" Kakashi asked when Team Seven collectively declined to fill out their forms.

"No," Sasuke answered plainly. "We want more time to train."

"It would be cool to be chunin," Naruto added. "But that's not gonna help us find Itachi."

"We prefer to use the time for further investigations," Sakura agreed.

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Okay. If that's what you want." He ripped up the forms and smiled.

* * *

"Hey Sasuke!"

"What is it, Naruto?" the Uchiha inquired, still shifting through the large number of documents littered on his living room floor.

"One of my clones just popped."

"One of those you not-so-secretly send off after we left Wave?" Sakura asked curiously, looking up from the file she was currently reading.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "He found a lead."

Sasuke's head immediately snapped up. "Where?" he demanded sharply. "And when?"

"About three days away from here. Someone with your brother's description was seen there two hours ago. He was wearing a black robe with red clouds on it."

Sasuke's eyes sparkled. "You know what that means, right?"

Two heads nodded in agreement. "We can find your brother!" Sakura stated happily.

"Well," Naruto added. "What are we waiting for?"

* * *

Kakashi stared at the note that his genin had somehow smuggled onto his doorstep without him noticing.

It read:

_Gone to save Itachi._

_Love_

_Team Seven_

_P.s. Please water my tomatoes while I am gone - Sasuke._

_P.p.s. Eat some extra ramen for me, will you, sensei? – Naruto_

_P.p.p.s. Don't listen to Naruto, sensei. Please stay safe and eat healthily - Sakura_

Below that were three stick-figure drawings of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke waving cheerily at him.

How cute.

Sighing deeply, he pocketed the note and left to find the Hokage.

* * *

When the two Akatsuki members had accepted their mission, they had thought that it would be business like usual. Go there, do the mission, get paid and leave.

Nothing could have prepared them for the additional fifth step, though.

The two men watched in complete disbelief as three children _approached_ them at a rapid pace, waving cheerfully at them.

"Are they waving at _us_?" Kisame asked, completely bewildered.

Itachi did not answer. He had recognized one figure as his little brother and the other one as Konoha's jinchuuriki. The pink girl was an unknown to him.

He suppressed the urge to groan.

What was his brother doing here? Why was the jinchuuriki with him? And even more important, _how_ could he get the children to leave without having to injure them seriously ?

While Itachi was busy worrying over the important questions, their three visitors had reached them.

The older Uchiha braced himself for his younger brother's hateful words.

But he was mistaken.

Sasuke simply grinned brightly, his eyes sparkling with joy, and jumped forward to throw himself at his brother.

Itachi blinked in sheer confusion as Sasuke collided with his chest, wrapped his arms around his waist and squeezed tightly. "Brother," he muttered. His voice was strangely unsteady. Was he crying?

"I missed you," Sasuke mumbled into his cloak.

Kisame stared at them. " _What the hell?_ "

"Oy, fish-face!" Naruto suddenly yelled at him. "Are you the one who kidnapped Sasuke's brother?"

Kisame blinked. "I… _what_?"

"That was very mean of you," Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. "Sasuke was very sad."

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed heatedly. "He actually cried you know!"

Kisame's head whipped in Itachi's direction. "Itachi, what the hell is going on here?"

The older Uchiha returned his dumbfounded look with a lost one of his own. It was a rare expression on his face, and Kisame took a moment to appreciate it.

"Let him go," Naruto demanded and fixed Kisame with an angry glare. Next to him, Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry, Itachi-san," Sakura assured him with a gentle smile. "We are here to save you."

" _Save me_?" Itachi repeated slowly, trying to dislodge his clingy brother, who only tightened his grip around him.

"Sasuke told us everything," she answered while Naruto was still busy glaring Kisame down. "He said that you got framed for killing your family and the culprits kidnapped you."

"Is he the one who took you?" Naruto demanded and pointed at Kisame.

"Wait," Kisame interrupted suddenly and gestured at Sasuke. "That kid is your little brother?"

"Yes," Itachi answered flatly and grabbed the boy's head with both of his hands, forcing him to look up at him. "Sasuke. Nobody framed me. I did it."

Sasuke scoffed. "Did they tell you to say that? Because I am not believing you."

"You don't have to take the blame, Itachi-san, " Sakura told him softly.

Kisame laughed. "I had not idea someone could be so delusional. These kids are hilarious, Itachi."

His gaze focused on something behind Naruto. "But I believe we are getting even more visitors."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "ANBU. Probably here to retrieve the children. Kisame, we are leaving."

"What? Why?!" his partner asked, very displeased with the Uchiha's decision.

"We are not supposed to draw attention," Itachi replied curtly. He carefully freed himself from his brother's embrace and a second later, they were gone.

"I believe they aren't following us," Itachi remarked, glancing over his shoulder.

"No," Kisame answered, his voice vibrating with something that sounded strangely like mirth. " _They_ aren't. But you might want to look down."

Itachi slowly lowered his head only to meet Sasuke's eyes. "I am not losing you again," the boy declared vehemently.

Itachi stared at him, torn between frustration and happiness, and absently wondered just how he had managed to cling to him through all that confusion.

Kisame roared with laughter. "Oy kid! Want to meet my leader? The one who assigned Itachi to me?"

Sasuke immediately looked interested, and Itachi unconsciously pressed his little brother tighter against his chest. "Kisame," Itachi warned darkly, "Do not enable him."

His partner grinned at the protectiveness in his tone.

* * *

The Hokage gazed grimly at the two children standing happily in front of him, looking completely unbothered by the serious faces around them. "Naruto, Sakura. Where is Sasuke?"

"Don't worry, Hokage-sama," Sakura chirped. "He is completely safe."

"Yeah, jiji," Naruto agreed, equally cheerful. "You don't have to worry."

" _Where_ is he?" the Third repeated, his voice slightly strained.

"With his brother, of course," Naruto answered matter-of-factly. "Family should be together."

"Itachi-san will take good care of him," Sakura assured the horrified shinobi. "He is a kind older brother. Right, Kakashi-sensei?"

All eyes turned to the jonin who simply patted the girl on her head. "Of course, Sakura-chan."

"Hatake!" Danzo snapped. "This is serious! Your genin committed _treason_! They left the village without authorization to run after a traitor!"

"Treason?" Kakashi repeated, dangerously calm. "They ran into a S-class missing-nin proficient at using genjutsu and messing with minds. There is hardly anything treasonous about being overpowered by a stronger shinobi."

"He didn't-" Naruto began, but Kakashi quickly put his hand over the kid's mouth to silence him. "And they _did_ have authorization to leave. I have filled in all the paperwork for a training trip."

Kakashi handed over a piece of toilet paper he had hastily scrawled a few lines on.

"That isn't-" Danzo protested, but the Hokage received it gracefully and immediately put his stamp on it, careful not to smudge the red lipstick the document had been written with.

"Approved," he announced gravely. "Now let us talk about getting Sasuke back."

Danzo could only watch helplessly as all his protests were completely disregarded.

* * *

Pain looked from a grinning Kisame to a stoic Itachi, to the kid clinging to him and back again.

He did not know what was going on, but he was already getting a headache.

"Itachi, explain," he demanded against his better judgement.

"This is my brother," Itachi answered stiffly. "Sasuke."

Pain blinked. "Your… _brother_?"

Sasuke dislodged himself far enough to look at the orange-haired man. "Are you the one who kidnapped him?"

Pain stared at him. " _Excuse me?"_

Kisame laughed. "Sasuke here seems to believe that we kidnapped his brother - and wants to save him."

Pain raised an eyebrow at the youngest Uchiha, looking decidedly unimpressed.

"I was under the impression," he began drily, "that you had eradicated your entire clan?"

"He didn't do it!" Sasuke interjected indignantly. His voice came out rather muffled because his head was still half-pressed against his brother's cloak. "Itachi is too kind for something like that. He was framed."

Kisame laughed even louder.

"I see," Pain answered slowly. He didn't. But he was sure he did not want to, either. "And you brought him here why?"

"He refuses to let go," Itachi informed him calmly. Pain wondered if Itachi was even aware of the protective stance he had adapted and that it was clearly _his_ arm that was pressing the child against his side.

Apparently getting rid of the kid was out of question unless he wanted an Itachi-induced mutiny.

His head throbbed even more.

Great.

"He is your responsibility," Pain ordered finally. "Keep him under control and out of trouble. If he causes any problems, I will not hesitate to enforce his compliance. Understood?"

"Yes, Leader-sama," Itachi replied, tightening his grip on his brother.

* * *

"Naruto?" Sakura's arm froze in midair, the dango stick halfway to her mouth.

"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"What do you think Sasuke-kun is doing now?"

Naruto slurped down the noodle he had been chewing on and hummed thoughtfully. "Probably hanging out with his brother."

"They must be happy to be reunited," Sakura commented, contently sipping her tea.

Naruto nodded in agreement.

The two of them continued eating in joyful accomplishment, so lost in their happy little bubble that they completely missed the restaurant's patrons slowly edging away from the two sparkling children.

* * *

"And this is the kitchen," Kisame finally ended the tour with a great flourish.

The room's occupants turned to stare at him.

"Kisame," Hidan started slowly. "Why are you showing _Itachi_ around the base?"

"Did he bump his head?" Deidara asked eagerly. "Because he's living here, you know?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Idiots," he grunted.

"I believe," Sasori commented casually, "that Kisame is not showing Itachi around, but rather the one _attached_ to him."

"What?!" Deidara's head whipped around to look at Itachi. Something he usually avoided to do because he was still very miffed at him.

"Who the hell is that?!" Deidara yelled when he finally noticed the kid clinging to the Uchiha.

"My brother," Itachi answered simply and stirred Sasuke into the room, steadfastly ignoring the loud expressions of disbelief.

"You have a brother?!" That was Hidan.

"Why the hell is he _clinging_ to you?" Deidara.

"Kisame," Kakuzu cut in, tired of the excited yelling. "Care to explain what happened?"

The addressed man grinned and happily recounted the tale, suppressing a laugh when his usually cold partner handed a tomato to the kid.

"I can't believe he thinks we kidnapped him!" Deidara yelled, completely flabbergasted.

"Personally, I think it is more interesting that he manages to completely ignore Itachi's deeds," Sasori remarked, "The child is clearly delusional."

"Be silent," Itachi's voice suddenly cut through the room. He sounded annoyed. "Sasuke is sleeping."

Five heads turned in his direction and stared at the peacefully slumbering child in the man's arms.

That was the scene Pain walked in only moments later.

He took one look at the pair of brothers, rolled his eyes, and went out again, muttering about having to stock up on headache relievers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A follow-up.
> 
> Let the chaos continue!

"Itachi!"

The called man immediately put his book down and automatically opened his arms to welcome his enthusiastic brother.

Sasuke smiled brightly and burrowed himself in his embrace.

Deidara stared at the harmonious picture and shook his head. "No matter how often I see it, I still can’t get used to it."

"It’s freaking scary," Hidan muttered, throwing a wary glance at the two brothers.

"It is a rather disconcerting picture," Sasori agreed.

"I just don’t get it!" Deidara complained. "Itachi is a cold-hearted bastard, how can he be so clingy?!"

Sasuke’s head whipped around and he narrowed his eyes at Deidara. "What did you say? Did you just call my brother a cold-hearted bastard?!"

Sasuke was furious.

"I’ll have you know," he continued, "that Itachi is the _kindest_ and most gentle person you will ever have the _privilege_ to meet."

Kisame snickered. Hidan cackled.

Black bled into red and Deidara suddenly found himself looking at two madly spinning Sharingan eyes. "If you ever badmouth him again, I’ll trap you in a world of nightmares you will never escape from." Sasuke smiled pleasantly and Deidara slightly edged away from the furious child.

Not because Sasuke’s threat had scared him, but rather because Itachi was glaring at him over the child’s head, apparently angry at him for making his brother mad.

"Enough," a sharp voice suddenly cut in. All heads turned towards the speaker.

Pain was standing in the doorway, carrying a stack of papers, and looking rather annoyed. It was an expression he seemed to adapt more often these days.

"Deidara," he ordered as he reluctantly entered the room and placed the papers on the table. "Stop provoking people."

His ringed eyes turned towards Itachi. "Itachi, control your brother. We are having a meeting and I don’t want to get interrupted by _another_ misguided rescue attempt. Got it?"

Several snickers were heard around the room as everyone remembered the last time Sasuke had interrupted their meeting because he did not want his beloved brother to be alone with his kidnappers.

"Yes, Leader-sama," Itachi easily picked the unresisting boy up and settled down on the couch, maneuvering both of them into a comfortable position.

Pain threw a critical look at Itachi to make sure his hold on the boy was suitably tight and nodded in satisfaction when he realized Sasuke seemed entirely content.

Good. 

There would be no interruptions from this side today.

Pain was really missing the days when he did not have to factor delusional and attention-starved children into his plans.

* * *

"Ne, Sakura-chan?" Naruto stopped in his throwing practice to look at his teammate.

"Yes, Naruto?" the girl asked and lowered her kunai.

"I just realized… we never found out who framed Itachi."

Sakura froze. "Naruto," she answered slowly. "I believe there are more investigations in order."

Naruto nodded seriously.

Somewhere across Konoha Danzo felt a sudden and unexplainable sense of dread.

* * *

Sasuke was displeased. His brother was going to leave him – _again_.

"I’ll be back in three days, ototo," Itachi assured him and ruffled his hair. "Be good."

Sasuke bristled. "I don’t want to leave you alone with him!" He pointed at a grinning Kisame. "What if you get attacked? Or Injured? What if you die?!"

Kisame laughed.

A hand landed on his shoulder and firmly steered him away from Itachi. "Your brother is completely capable of defending himself," Pain told him dryly. "There is no need for you to… _protect_ him."

Sasuke whirled around and leveled the leader with a surprisingly impressive glare. "I don’t want any platitudes from the one who kidnapped him."

Pain’s eyes narrowed. "Careful, child. I have been very lenient with you so far, but if you push it, you will not like the consequences. Consider this your only warning."

"Sasuke," Itachi cut in and the boy immediately turned his attention to him. 

"Behave," his brother told him firmly. "Listen to Leader-sama. I will bring you back some tomatoes."

Sasuke instantly brightened. "Okay. Be careful!"

He wanted to hug Itachi again, but the iron grip on his shoulder stopped him from moving.

Sasuke could only watch as his brother vanished into the distance.

"Good," Pain’s attention turned towards the child. "Now that they are gone… _Where_ is your original?"

Clone-Sasuke simply smirked at him and dispelled.

Pain’s head throbbed.

* * *

The window was rather small, but Sasuke was still fitting easily through the opening. The ground was not far below him.

If he jumped now, he could easily follow his brother. Sasuke leaped out of the window - only to be stopped by a black tendril wrapping around his body and dragging him back inside.

"I am not getting paid enough for this," a rough voice grumbled, and Sasuke was deposited rather carelessly on the ground.

Sasuke did not have to look up to see who had foiled his brotherly plans. There was only one person who always groused about money.

Kakuzu.

The man grabbed the back of Sasuke’s collar and hoisted him up. "Because of you, I have to redo my calculations now."

A constant stream of complaints left the grumpy man’s mouth as he carried the child like one would carry a misbehaving cat.

They met Pain inside his office. Kakuzu did not waste any time with unnecessary explanations and unceremoniously handed the child to his leader.

Literally.

Having done his duty, Kakuzu turned around and vanished, not bothering with any further courtesies, and left Sasuke to dangle from Pain’s grip.

The man’s attention settled on his captive. "I believe it is time we had a _talk_."

His words sounded rather ominous.

* * *

"Why would someone want to kill the Uchiha clan?" Sakura mused, absently chewing on her rice cake.

Naruto shrugged and slumped down on the chair next to her. "Maybe someone didn’t like them?"

"Or someone gained something from their deaths," Sakura added thoughtfully.

"But what would they get from dead Uchihas?"

Naruto froze in the middle of getting his rice cake, and Sakura dropped hers as realization hit them at the same time. "Sharingan!"

"It makes sense," Sakura nodded grimly. "If only we had a way to prove it."

Naruto was silent.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked, worried by the sudden absent look in his eyes.

Naruto whirled around. "I just remembered something! In the Forbidden Scroll. There was another technique."

Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. "Another technique? What kind of technique?"

"One to revive the dead," Naruto answered, his eyes gleaming. "Edo Tensei!"

* * *

Pain thoroughly appreciated the nice calmness. The relaxing sound of pattering rain was soothing his frazzled nerves, and it was certainly loud enough to cover the occasional muffled complaints coming from the other side of the room.

Pain signed his document with a flourish and put his pen down, relishing in his lack of headache.

"It is a nice day, don’t you think so, Sasuke?" 

Pain raised his head and smiled pleasantly at the tied-up child. Sasuke glared at him from the seiza position Pain’s clone had forced him into for the last two hours and huffed out a rude answer that was swallowed by the rag in his mouth.

"I am afraid I didn’t quite catch that," Pain informed him amicably. "But allow me to guess: You were asking for my permission to stay like this for the rest of the day. Of course, I will be happy to grant your wish."

He smirked at the look of horror on the child’s face.

Suddenly the air shifted, and Pain turned towards the arriving man. "Madara."

The Uchiha nodded at him before his gaze fell on Sasuke and his eyes took a very distinct gleam.

"Uchiha Sasuke," Pain informed him calmly, "Itachi’s little brother." He watched in interest as Madara grabbed the child’s chin and carefully inspected the young face. "Oh! He looks just like Izuna!"

Madara smiled lovingly at Sasuke and patted his head. "Come and visit me if Pain ever decides to let you go, ototo."

Sasuke shuddered. He only had one older brother! And that was _Itachi_!

Madara stood up again, waved cheerfully at the room at large, and vanished as quickly as he had arrived.

Pain raised an eyebrow at the spot he had just vacated. "Why was he even here?"

Madara was really getting eccentric in his old days.

* * *

Naruto triumphantly tossed the scroll on the table between them.

His teammate curiously picked it up. "How did you get it?"

Naruto grinned. "It was easy, dattebayo. They did not even bother to change the security. It was just like the last time I stole it."

"How long do we have?" Sakura asked, all business.

"Maybe half-an-hour," Naruto answered. "Then I’ll have to plant it somewhere they’ll find it."

Sakura nodded. "That’s long enough."

There was a moment of silence as Sakura scanned over the scroll.

"Naruto?" she asked finally.

"Hmm?" the boy responded.

"Get a shovel. We are robbing a grave."

"Do you want it flat or pointed?

* * *

Kakashi blinked. He could have sworn that he had just seen his two genin hauling a dead body through the streets.

He shook his head to clear it and blinked again.

The street was empty.

There was nobody in sight. Nobody. No body. He snickered at his joke and shrugged. Maybe he should stop indulging in Icha Icha so late at night.

It made him see strange things.

Kakashi rounded the corner.

Behind him, two figures slowly emerged out of the dumpster. "That was a close one," Sakura muttered.

Naruto nodded and carefully freed the corpse from the banana peels.

* * *

Kakashi was really starting to doubt his senses. He was sure that he had just seen something pink jump out of the hospital window followed by a blonde blur and… _another_ corpse?

Kakashi threw a distrusting look at his favorite reading material.

One time could be passed as a coincidence, but two times?

He was also starting to get slightly worried about the form his hallucination was taking on.

Why did he keep seeing his cute, delusional genin?

Shaking his head, he decided to turn in for tonight. Maybe things would make more sense tomorrow morning.

Naruto and Sakura released a relieved sigh as their sensei vanished out of their view.

"Why do we keep running into him tonight?" Naruto grumbled.

"Bad luck," Sakura answered plainly, carefully lifting up the dying man.

* * *

Uchiha Shisui stared at the two cheerfully smiling children.

"Just a quick question, Shisui-san," Sakura told him happily. "Then you can go back to rest."

Shisui nodded slowly, still confused by his situation. "What is it?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Who eradicated your clan?"

Shisui blanched. " _Who did what?!_ "

* * *

Pain stared at the clumps of wet clay littered around the living room. His right eye twitched in annoyance. " _What_ ," he began very slowly, "happened here?"

Deidara grinned sheepishly. "I was showing Mini-Itachi-"

"My name is _Sasuke_!"

Pain’s left eye twitched.

"…Mini-Itachi how to mold clay. Somehow it got a bit out of hand."

"You don’t say," Pain drawled, throwing a pointed look at the sticky mess covering the ceiling. "You will be cleaning this up, Deidara. You have one hour. If the room does not sparkle once I return, there will be consequences."

"Why just me?!" Deidara demanded. "What about the kid?!"

"He will receive his own punishment. Now I suggest you start cleaning. The clock is ticking."

* * *

"This is cruel and unusual punishment!" Sasuke complained, desperately trying to free himself from the man’s grip.

Pain hummed in agreement. "It is."

The leader knocked on the door. "Madara? Are you there? Izuna is here to visit you!"

Immediately the door was thrown open and Uchiha Madara stormed out.

"Ototo! I missed you!"

Pain smirked as the man drew the child into a crushing hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AU:** Tobi really is Madara. 
> 
> And Obito?   
> He noped out the moment he saw the eccentric man and is now somwhere out there having exciting adventures.


End file.
